Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, uninvited mental thoughts or scenarios that pop into our heads, oftentimes without warning. These intrusive thoughts can be scary, uncomfortable, irritating, or embarrassing. Just because we have intrusive thoughts about something, doesn’t mean it’s important or carries immense value. Everyone has them, and even though they feel heavy because of the emotions they carry, they are no different than any other “normal” thoughts.
Here are five things to try when wanting to manage and mitigate these intrusive thoughts.
Tip #1: Remain Calm: Remaining calm is one of the first main steps in overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts. When an uncomfortable thought surfaces, try to take some deep breaths and do grounding techniques such as box breathing.
Tip #2: Don’t Fight Them: “Fighting” intrusive thoughts means engaging with them, and attempting to argue with what they’re saying. Imagine you have an intrusive thought while cutting vegetables, and your mind out of nowhere says “what if I hurt someone with this knife”. Instead of saying something like “I would never do that, I’m not a violent person”, try to disregard the thought and let it pass as if it meant nothing.
Tip #3: Understand Their Meaning: Just because certain intrusive thoughts may reoccur more than others, this does not mean they have some “deeper meaning”. Intrusive thoughts reoccur because of our harsh reactions to them. Knowing this, take comfort in understanding that by having an adverse reaction to an intrusive thought, deep down you know it’s not something you believe in.
Tip #4: Go Easy On Yourself: Trying to overcome intrusive thoughts is not easy. It is a long, often difficult process that takes a lot of practice. Go easy on yourself if you find it challenging, and understand that it is okay to not conquer these thoughts quickly. If there was a quick and easy magic way to stop them, you would have done it already.
Tip #5: Remember You Can’t “Control” Thoughts: One of the key details about intrusive thoughts is that the more we ruminate on them, the harder they return. At this point, it’s been established that your intrusive thoughts cause uncomfortability, anger, and sometimes confusion. It’s only natural to try and change your thinking, and attempt to “stop” these thoughts from happening. This is not possible, and instead tell yourself “these are just thoughts, and they too shall pass” when overcome by an intrusive thought.
If you’re looking for help managing intrusive thoughts, we can help. Contact Max Boenisch at max@treehousecounselingoregon.com or visit Max’s profile here.
Citation: Seif, M. N., & Annis, S. (2019). Overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts Martin N. Seif. New Harbinger Publications.
