Adolescence can be a very difficult time in life. There’s a lot going on at once, such
as: academic pressure to succeed from teachers and parents, self-esteem issues,
identity exploration, social media comparison, a desire to fit in with peers, and relationships.
Even more stressors include sports, peer pressure, puberty, and friendship drama/conflict.
Learning how to manage stress during this time is essential to physical, mental, and
emotional well being. Here are five ways pre-teens and teens can manage stress.
1.) Decrease negative self talk and increase healthier self talk
I strongly believe that we are our own worst critics, and that no one is harder on
us than we are on ourselves. With that being said, it’s important to be kind to
yourself, whether it be after arguing with a friend, getting a bad grade on a test,
or feeling overcome with anxiety. Think about what you would tell a friend or a
sibling who was going through the same thing as you are. Chances are, you
would meet with them with more kindness. For instance, “I’m so stupid, I’ll never
be good at math” can be reframed to “My grades don’t define my worth. I know I
didn’t do well last time, but I am capable of doing better through studying,
practice, and seeking help when needed.”
2.) Talk to trustworthy loved ones
It’s okay to seek support from others when going through a difficult time. Staying
connected to loved ones can help you feel less alone when you are struggling, which in turn
may help with navigating life challenges. This can be more effective than keeping everything to
yourself. Whether it be your mom, dad, favorite auntie, teacher, coach, best
friend, grandparent, or a friend’s parent, talking to someone trustworthy can help
keep you grounded!
3.) Use relaxation techniques
Trying to relax your body is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself
during stressful times. There are several ways this can be done, such as deep breathing,
using your five senses (5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch,
3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste), going
on a walk outside in nature, or listening to your favorite music.
4.) Practice journaling
Journaling can be a very effective way for pre-teens and teens to manage
hardships. When you have too many thoughts circulating in your head, getting all
of them out on paper can feel like a release of those thoughts. There are multiple
ways to utilize journaling, such as writing a letter to someone who wronged you
that you won’t send, or writing a letter to your past and/or future self. Journaling allows
you to break down all of your thoughts and feelings, and anything else that feels
authentic to who you are.
5.) Limit the need for perfection
We’ve all been there! Society tends to push adolescents to be perfect in
everything they do, whether it be to obtain straight A’s in all classes, get involved
in every club and sport, never feel emotions such as sadness or anger, or to never
make any human mistakes or have imperfect human experiences. It’s all very exhausting.
Although society does this, it’s essential to realize that no one in this world is perfect.
Almost all of us have had moments where we accidentally miscommunicate, hurt
someone’s feelings without meaning to, get a low grade on an assignment, join a
club or sport and then later regret it, or have a bad day. It’s normal to feel annoyed by parents
and guardians, and to think that we know what we want to do when we grow up, but later
change our minds.
So many people struggle with mental health, feeling distanced from friends, and
feeling insecure about certain parts of ourselves. As pre-teens and teenagers, these
experiences are very common and normal. You’re only human for having these
experiences, and you’re not a failure. No one is perfect, and I encourage you to try to
release yourself from the pressure of being a perfectionist!
If you’re looking for help finding more ways to de-stress your teen, we can help. Contact Andrea Passano at andrea@treehousecounselingoregon.com or visit Andrea’s profile here.
References:
(2019, Oct 24). How to help children and teens manage stress levels. American
Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/children/stress
(2019, Jan.) Stress Management and Teens. American Academy of Child &
Adolescent Psychiatry.
https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/F
FF-Guide/Helping-Teenagers-With-Stress-066.aspx
