What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a trait that is found in people who tend to set very high,
unrealistic standards for themselves or others, and strive for
perfection. Often, people with perfectionism tend to view anything short of perfect as
unacceptable. This tendency is often a trap, because it is impossible to be perfect.
Often, perfectionism is rewarded or disguised as having a ‘strong work
ethic’, or a ‘high standard’ in life. There is a difference between having high
standards and having a healthy focus on growth.
Managing perfectionism is about moving toward a more healthy and
realistic standard, rather than being driven by a fear of failure and need for
external validation. If one’s self worth is tied to flawless outcomes, it creates
a cycle of burn-out and anxiety, because being without any flaws whatsoever is
impossible to achieve.
Risks of being a perfectionist include:
- Creates a strong inner critic that amplifies one’s mistakes.
- Can lead to procrastination, as one can feel scared of starting
something from the fear of doing something imperfectly.
- Creates higher levels of anxiety and stress.
- Increases depression from harsh self-blame and hopelessness.
- Exhausts the mind and body.
- Decreases creativity.
- Fear of being vulnerable stops true intimacy.
Ways to combat perfectionism:
- Look at things in the gray areas-not the black and white. All or
nothing thinking lessens the value of things already done.
- Start using the phrase “good enough”. This helps create flexibility.
- Focus on the process of doing something, not just the outcome.
- Ask friends or family to help you change expectations.
- Remember to have perspective. One low grade or one mistake in
your job most likely won’t haunt you forever.
- Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend-with compassion and
kindness.
- Find a therapist who can help you manage and change perfectionism
in your life.
