Building self esteem as a teenager can be very challenging! There are so many factors that influence self esteem at this age, such as societal expectations, teacher/school expectations, family dynamics, social media, and peers. Here are five ways you can build self esteem so that you can begin to feel secure in who you are.
1.) Take time to recognize your own strengths and/or wins
I understand how easy it can be to become wrapped up in our own shortcomings. However, it’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize what your own strengths are, as well as take time to celebrate small wins. Whether it be your ability to be patient, being able to do well in a sport, having strong creative expression, doing well in a class you thought was going to be difficult, or being able to get out of bed and show up on days where it seemed impossible to do so, celebrating wins can go a long way.
2.) Practice kindness after experiencing setbacks
I also find it extremely important to practice kindness after experiencing setbacks. Everyone has experienced a setback, mistake, or failure in life. Whether it be failing a class, losing a sports game, accidentally hurting someone’s feelings you care about, getting into an argument with a parent, etc. Setbacks don’t define your worth or value. Instead, they may serve as excellent opportunities for you to experience growth as a person. Setbacks are how you may learn more about yourself, how you respond to hardships, where you may need to improve in life, and in return, helps you grow as a person, and it leads to resilience. It’s important to know that no one is perfect. Everyone experiences setbacks in life, it’s part of what makes us human.
3.) Manage social media use
Nowadays, social media has become the main way people stay connected to one another, and it also serves as a form of self expression. However, social media can also have negative impacts on others, such as self esteem issues. If you ever notice that social media is making you feel badly about yourself, it’s okay and healthy to take a break, delete accounts, or unfollow people that drain you. If you ever find yourself being cyberbullied, or notice that someone else is being cyberbullied, please reach out to a trusted adult.
4.) Invest in activities and hobbies that make you feel happy
Engaging in activities and hobbies that make you feel happy and fulfilled is an excellent way to build self esteem! There are so many hobbies you can explore. Some people have one preferred hobby, or multiple hobbies. This can include reading, journaling, listening to or playing music, playing sports, singing, drawing, painting, dancing, running, etc. There isn’t a one size fits all approach, and it’s okay to take time to explore what feels right to you!
5.) Focus on developing positive relationships
It’s essential to develop relationships with others that make you feel safe and secure in who you are, especially since relationships often have a direct influence on self-esteem. Typically, you can know you’re in a positive relationship with someone if they support your interests, comfort you when you’re having a hard time, actively listen to you, respect you, and most importantly, if you feel safe being around them. Your support system can involve anyone, such as classmates, teammates, mentors, coaches, siblings, cousins, parents, teachers, aunts/uncles, etc.
If you’re searching for someone who can help your teen build on and improve their own self esteem, Treehouse Counseling can help. Here is a list of providers who are trained in giving teens tools that help them grow.
References:
Artigues-Barberà, E., Tort-Nasarre, G., Pollina-Pocallet, M., Ferrer Suquet, Y., Ayats Pallés, A., Guasch Niubó, O., Ortega-Bravo, M., & García-Martínez, E. (2025). Key factors in supporting adolescents to achieve high self-esteem and a positive body image: A qualitative community-based study. PloS one, 20(2), e0318989. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0318989
Chen, X., & Ma, R. (2023). Adolescents’ Self-Esteem: The influence Factors and Solutions. Journal of Education Humanities and Social Sciences, 8, 1562–1566. https://doi.org/10.54097/ehss.v8i.4520
Jimenez, M. (2025, April 23). Nurturing positive Self-Esteem and body confidence in teenagers — the Los Angeles Trust for Children’s Health. The L.A. Trust for Children’s Health. https://www.thelatrust.org/articles/boosting-self-esteem-in-teenage-years
