Dealing with anxious kids can be a challenging experience for even the most seasoned parents. Whether kids are dealing with clinical anxiety or normal everyday fears, these tips below can give parents and/or caregivers confidence when responding to anxiety and help support children in an effective way.
- Focus on keeping yourself grounded and regulated. Often other people’s anxiety can increase our own. When you notice a child’s worry, take a deep breath and tell yourself that this isn’t an emergency. The calmer you can stay, the more your energy will help co-regulate the child.
- Name the emotion. Often caregivers go into fix-it mode which makes sense because we want to help. It can be helpful for children learning emotional regulation skills to simply identify the feeling. You can say, “You seem really worried about that.” Then wait before continuing. Kids can be great at letting you know if that feeling is correct or not and also helps them get used to naming their feelings which is the first step in emotional regulation.
- Remind them that feelings pass. It is normal to feel anxious, sad, excited, happy and all the other feelings. Our feelings are normal and okay. You can use a metaphor such as feelings are like waves at the beach-they come and go. Remind them that feelings don’t last forever and feelings are normal.
- Give the child a choice of coping skills. Ask the child if they want a hug or to practice deep breathing with bubbles. Giving them a choice of what to do to manage their anxiety can give them a sense of control when they often feel a bit out of control. Depending on the child you can use a weighted blanket, physical activity, humor, or breaking something into more manageable steps.
- Share a time you felt anxious. Normalizing emotions and sharing about your own experience can be helpful. Talk about a time you remember being nervous on the first day of school or starting a new job. Kids can enjoy hearing that they are not alone and it also builds trust and a strong relationship with the caregiver.
For more parenting support around anxiety and childhood issues reach out to Ivy at Treehouse Counseling.
